A Hymn: O God of Earth and Altar

O God of earth and altar,

        Bow down and hear our cry,

Our earthly rulers falter,

        Our people drift and die;

The walls of gold entomb us,

        The swords of scorn divide,

Take not thy thunder from us

        But take away our pride.

                   **

From all that terror teaches,

        From lies of tongue and pen,

From all the easy speeches

        That comfort cruel men,

From sale and profanation

        Of honour and the sword,

From sleep and from damnation,

        Deliver us, good Lord.

                  **

Tie in a living tether

        The prince and priest and thrall,

Bind all our lives together,

        Smite us and save us all;

In ire and exultation

        A flame with faith, and free,

Lift up a living nation,

       A single sword to thee.

                  **

                         -G.K. Chesterton

**I recently re-discovered G.K. Chesterton while researching for an earlier post. I have been aware of him for many years as he is a popular author in the home-school community.  What a treasure his writings are. The poem above is just as applicable today as when he wrote it.**

Source: The American Chesterton Society; http://www.chesterton.org/

Copyright © 2010 by Susan E. Johnson
All rights reserved

Her Shining Knight

“Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before unknown men.”  Proverbs 22:29 (NKJV)

Men have taken a beating in popular culture as the cause of feminism has continued to gain momentum. Men have been  portrayed in film and television as worthless dolts who can barely find their way to the kitchen without the help of a woman or their children.  What a travesty!   A Godly man is the bedrock on which his family stands and his leadership in that family becomes foundational to the culture in which he lives.  

In recent decades the manly arts, which were once considered essential to a family’s survival, have been ridiculed and denigrated.  Women have, with their rank rebellion disguised as the cause of feminism, tried to turn men into women, making men to feel ashamed for the way that God made them.  And feminism has turned some women into bullies.  They have become the very thing they have so often accused men of being. 

Clearly, there is plenty of blame to go around on either side of the gender aisle. Both men and women have much to answer for as they have deliberately walked away from the Biblical standards of behavior that God has set down in His Word.  It has been a great encouragement to me as I have watched, within the homeschooling community, the re-emergence of the Biblical pattern for the family.  Men and women are once again beginning to take their rightful place within the family structure and their children are absolutely thriving.

Several years ago a major hurricane came through the city where we live.  We were some the fortunate ones.  We were only without electrical power for about a week.  Many of the trees in our neighborhood toppled over, blocking driveways and streets. Since I was part of the “recovery team” (for major disasters) at work, once the hurricane had passed, it was my responsibility to help relieve those nurses at the hospital who were on the “ride-out” team. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get out of our driveway. Our driveway, and the street in both directions, was blocked with huge trees that had fallen during the storm. I had to call into work and tell them that I could not get out and that I would get there as soon as I could.  Shortly afterwards, I saw the men of the fire department coming down the street with chain saws, clearing the street of trees, so that ambulances and fire trucks could get through in the event of an emergency.  My husband went out to speak to them, asking if they could please remove the tree in our driveway so that I could get to the medical center. When they found out that I was a nurse, they graciously cut up that tree for us, even though they were technically not allowed to do that. As I watched these men do what men do, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that God had made men completely different from women.  No woman would have had the physical strength to cut up these trees and then clear the street of the large pieces of tree trunks that remained.

God created men with the physical and emotional strength necessary to protect and provide for their families. This strength and their leadership in the home provides the framework for the safety and security of their wives and children. As the cause of feminism has systematically worked at weakening the fundamentals of who men are, women have lost the sense of safety and security they so desperately desire.  Many men have, in response to this assault, given up their God-given role and abdicated their responsibilities to protect and provide.

Men are not the same as women, women are not the same as men. Nothing we ever do will change that. While there are some similarities between the genders, each one has its own unique traits and perspective on the world. Neither one is more “right” than the other.  We need to respect and acknowledge these God-ordained differences instead of trying to change each other.

I believe that one of the most dangerous things a woman can do is to regularly read romance novels. There is no man on the face of the planet that looks or acts like the men in these novels.  Women have, in essence, created men in their own image. No wonder women are so angry! They have deliberately set themselves up for failure and they don’t even know it.  And men have their own version of this with their mens’ magazines. No women ever looks like the women on those pages do.  The root of the issue for both sides is pride and self-centeredness. Not satisfied with what God has given us, we seek to re-create the other in our own image to fulfill our own needs and desires.

A Godly man does not have to apologize for, or feel ashamed of, that which makes him quintessentially masculine, no matter what popular culture infers.  It is a great encouragement to see, within the homeschooling community, that men are actively passing down to their sons the masculine arts and those masculine perspectives that make them uniquely men.  These are men who are not afraid of being seen as men.  They rightly understand what is masculine in this world and are not afraid to walk in it.  Becoming a Godly man requires the strength and courage to stand up for Biblical principles in a world that, by-in-large, no longer acknowledges them.  These mens’ sons will grow into the likeness of their fathers as the years progress. Real men are not born that way, they are methodically and intentionally developed with the wisdom of God and guidance of their parents.

Women don’t always appreciate the courage that is required for a man to do a man’s job in this world.  We often don’t rightly discern what God has created men to be. Instead many women focus on what they are not, what they don’t do, or what they don’t say.  We don’t understand that men usually tell us what is in their hearts, by their actions, not necessarily by their words.  Every day that they go off to work at a job they dislike, providing for the families they love; every time they fix something that is broken at home; every time they protect us from the many dangers of the wicked world we live in is a testament to the depth of the love they have for us. 

It is an unfortunate fact that many women complain about mens’ failings more often than they compliment men on what they have done right. If a man is diligently working to become the man God would have him to be, he should earn our honor and respect.  It does not matter whether he is a lumberjack or a poet, a Godly character is the foundation for all that is rightly masculine.

It is not true that women are inordinately complex (contrary to popular opinion). We are really (almost!) as simple and straightforward as men, it is just that we speak a different language.  Most of the women that I know don’t really care about big houses, fancy cars, expensive jewelry, or that their husband makes a large salary. While we may appreciate them, we do not require them to make us happy.  What we really need is to know that we are loved, needed, and respected. This is not too much different from what most men value.   What is different is how we approach our lives. Men are more risk-takers, more likely to “go it alone”, and find their value in what they do. Women desire safety and security, are more communal, and find their value in their husband’s and children’s view of them. What might seem an insurmountable impasse to peaceful living, is actually an example of God’s provision for two halves of the same piece. Each half is necessary for, and a complement to, the other.

Most women don’t expect men to have all the answers, we don’t expect men to never be afraid, and we don’t expect men to be the perfect example of Godly manliness. What we do want is to know that we are needed, that we are cherished, and that we are respected.  We greatly desire to help the men that we love fulfill all that God would have them do. We want to know that the man we consider to be our “knight in shining armor”, considers us to be his “lady faire.” What could be more simple than that?

“He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8 (NKJV)

Related Content: www.foryoungmenonly.com; http://www.ransomedheart.com/ (“Wild At Heart”)

Copyright © 2010 by Susan E. Johnson
All rights reserved

His Lady Faire

“‘Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I have bestowed on you,’  says the Lord GOD.”  Ezekial 16:13-14 (NKJV)

Whether or not she will admit it, every woman desires to be thought of as beautiful. This desire is embedded in the very fabric of who she is, placed there by the loving God Who is Beauty Himself.  When God created Eve, she was the embodiment of all that He considered to be beautiful, in female form.  Prior to the fall of man, she did not bear any of the ugliness of sin. When God brought Eve to Adam,  Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23a NKJV).  I believe that in today’s vernacular, he would have said, “Wow!”

When a girl is young, her understanding of what makes up beauty only deals with aspects of  physical beauty. Her play times are filled with “dress-up”, stories of fair maidens, and  thoughts of the “shining knight” she hopes to find some day when she grows up.  Every lady faire dreams of a shining knight (conversely, every shining knight seeks to find his lady faire).  The pursuit of beauty becomes just one of the pathways to fulfillment of this dream.  As a young lady matures, and if she raised in the nurture and admonition of the LORD, she will begin to understand that what God considers beautiful is not necessarily the same as what the world considers beautiful.  There-in lies the conflict.

Women are continually bombarded in our culture with what the fashionistas consider beautiful in a woman.  Entire industries have been built on this constantly changing view of external beauty. This seems to always focus on physical attractiveness and its purpose is primarily to attract the male of the species. This is not the same as true beauty. True beauty comes from within. It is the result of integrity and a Godly character; it is the result of a strong and abiding faith.

I have written before about growing up in the 1960s and 1970s.  This was the age of Twiggy (for those who don’t remember who she was, as her names suggests, she was a stick-thin young British woman/model with straight hair who looked more like a boy than a girl).  Every young girl of my generation aspired to look like her. For those, like me, who did not, we were left feeling substandard and somehow lacking. The fashion industry has done more to destroy a woman’s confidence in who God made her to be than almost any other industry.  Women have been led to believe that the air-brushed models they see in magazines and the actresses they see in film and on television are supposed to be “the standard.”  For most of my life, as painful as it is to admit, I have fallen for this deception.

The advertisers and fashion/make-up industries have taken women’s innate, God-given desire to be beautiful for their husbands, and have manipulated this for their own financial gains and purposes. Even many Christian women have not accurately discerned that there is no wisdom in this.  We have generally gone along with whatever has been dictated as “beautiful” in the market place. Either that or we have gone to the complete other side of the spectrum–all without considering what God might have to say about this subject.

Several years ago when my daughter was participating in the youth choir at a church musician’s conference, the leadership of the youth choir had to address the issue of dressing modestly with the teenage girls that were attending.  The director for the youth portion of this conference had a “talk” with the girls in the group about the need to dress more appropriately. These were Christian girls, from Christian homes, and yet there wasn’t much difference between the way they dressed and the way their worldly counterparts did.  After the youth director and his wife finished this speech, something happened that completely amazed me.  A number of the young men in the audience began to cheer.  These young men wanted the girls to dress more modestly, clearly indicating that within this group there were a number of Godly young men who were uncomfortable with the visual temptation they encountered every day.  

I do not believe that girls understand what they say about themselves when they do not dress modestly.  They do not understand that they tell a young man this is the best they have to offer– everything else will pale in comparison.  These girls appeal to an ungodly young man’s baser instincts, not to his best.  Girls inadvertantly set themselves up to be used and then thrown away when the next girl comes along who he may consider to be prettier. It is no wonder that relationships and marriages are so short-lived these days.

For all of my life I have struggled to balance what I felt God wanted for me with what the culture dictated.  It never occurred to me that I shouldn’t pay any attention to those cultural norms in the first place. Women have always been taught to use their physical attractiveness to secure a man’s attentions. This has happened for time immemorial. Nothing has changed, except that as we have continually removed every vestige of God and Biblical principles from  our culture, the focus on physical beauty has accelerated.  We don’t really care about what is inside as long as the outside looks presentable.

About five years ago, during another Mother’s Day sermon, one of our pastors began to speak about how God sees and values a woman, something that left me weeping. He told us about how much he loved and respected his wife and how they were working together to bring their two young daughters up to reflect God’s Glory and not the world’s.  He told the women in the audience: “God did not create you to be the object of a man’s lust. He created you to be your husband’s companion, his helpmate, the completion of his heart and his life.” It was then that I realized what I had believed all of my life.  I had not understood that, even though I had always dressed modestly, kept myself only for my husband, and actively sought to become the woman God desired me to be, deep in my heart of hearts I had believed what the world told me was my true value. 

There has been much disagreement within the Christian community about what is considered appropriate for women in regards to fashionable clothing and make-up. For those who might think that the above mentioned pastor’s wife was a “plain brown wren,” nothing could be further from the truth.  She was entirely lovely in all respects.   While I do not believe it necessary to remove appropriately fashionable clothing or make-up from the life of Godly women, I do believe that whatever we do should bring honor and glory to God. It needs to be an accurate representation of our roles as ambassadors for Christ.  We should seek to make the best of whatever physical beauty God has given us as women.  I happen to agree with my father-in-law, when he related what he told a relative of his during a discussion on this very topic: “If the barn needs paint, paint the barn.”

It is a real blessing to see the elements of Godly beauty and character developing in our daughter. She would be the first to tell you that there are many areas in her life that still need work so that she can adequately reflect God’s beauty and character.  In many ways, she is what has been called an “old soul”.  Likely, some of this has to do with the home-schooling process, as well as many of the challenges she has already faced in her young life.  Mostly, however, I believe this is due to her desire to wholeheartedly seek the Lord, spending time with Him daily both in prayer and in His Word.

It has been a privilege watching our daughter grow up and mature into a lovely young woman. Her warm and generous heart, the fierce and steadfast loyalty she has for those she considers friends, her quick wit, and her intellect bring honor to the God who made her and to whom she loves and serves.   As she continues in her walk with God, growing in His love and grace, she will indeed become a treasure for the young man who will someday become her “knight in shining armor.”  She will be able to stand confidently at his side, the strength and courage of her character helping him to fulfill the call of God on his life.  Her love for him will give him the safe haven he requires to meet life’s many challenges. Giving generously to him all that God has so generously given to her, she will do “him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31: 12 NKJV).  She will indeed become his “lady faire”.

“And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands for us; yes, establish the work of our hands.” (Psalm 90:17, NKJV)

Related Material: http://www.foryoungwomenonly.com; http://www.ransomedheart.com (“Captivating”)

Copyright © 2010 by Susan E. Johnson
All rights reserved

Marriage Minded

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (NKJV)

As several of my daughter’s friends have recently become engaged or gotten married, I have looked back on my own marriage and considered what marriage has become in our society. Much lip service is given to marriage in our culture, but longevity is a rarity these days. It was once commonplace for marriages to last many decades; this is generally not the case any longer.  The choice of a marriage partner (if people choose to marry at all) often appears to be based on physical attraction, financial stability, social prominence, or infatuation rather than on God’s Word or Wisdom on the subject. We live in a “try it before you buy it” culture, believing that this will tell us with certainty whether or not we are “compatible”.    This is absolute folly. 

God has always been extremely interested in, and concerned with, who we marry. Very few decisions in life are more important than the choice of marriage partner. The marriage between a man and a woman has concerns in both the spiritual and natural realms–neither operates independently of the other. The binding together of two hearts into one has eternal consequences; any children born have an eternal future.  The partnership that begins on their wedding day has a specific purpose and plan for the advancement of God’s Kingdom.

Much has been written and sung about the subject of love and marriage.  Romance novels fill the shelves of countless bookstores while love songs are written for every musical genre. However, the love that holds a Godly marriage together is not merely an emotion; it is also an act of the will and a visible manifestation of God’s grace. This is not a commitment that should be entered into without the power of Christ resident in your heart. Marriage is not a relationship for the self-centered, immature, or self-absorbed.  And yet, marriage, as portrayed in popular culture, is generally about what the other person does for you or gives to you. There seems to be little thought or emphasis on what might be required in return.

I have written previously about my rather unusual trip down the path to matrimony.  In many ways, our relationship and engagement actually resembled the more traditional courtship model or arranged marriage.  In retrospect, I believe it was a gift from God that events transpired the way that they did. The dating relationship prior to my engagement ended very badly, resulting in severe lack of trust in young men.  This young man’s rejection left me feeling ugly, stupid, and worthless.  Uncomfortable with being angry at him (because I loved him, after all), I turned the anger inward. I felt as if I couldn’t find any sure footing after the bottom dropped out of my life. I became irritable and prickly as I tried to protect my heart from further hurt. For a long time after the end of this relationship, I had absolutely no confidence in myself. I believed his rejection was indicative of my worth and value as a woman; the hurtful things he had said about my ”many deficiencies” were true.  His assessment left me feeling bruised, bleeding, and raw. I do not believe that this response is an unusual one for most young women. It has parallels for young men, as well,  in similar circumstances.

In reality, I did not make a wise choice in this young man and I did not first inquire of the Lord about him. While brilliant and supremely talented, his character was weak and his Christian faith was shallow.  Initially, I thought he had it all. He was a double major in biology and chemistry with sights on medical school.  He sang in the Chicago Symphony Chorus (unusual for college students) and was musically gifted.  He was even what I considered to be “tall, dark, and handsome”.  However, I now know that I was focusing on externals.  Those areas that really mattered, character and faith, were not as strong as they should have been. The end results were predictable. 

I am not sure that I would have allowed my heart to care that deeply again had my husband and I entered into a traditional dating relationship. His friendship became a safe haven.  After two years of friendship and seeking the Lord in prayer, I was ready when he asked if I was willing to proceed in a different direction with our relationship and then to marry him.  There were no flowers, no moonlight, no soft music, and no romance; just a telephone call that profoundly changed my life.

During our one year engagement, we saw each other three times (he was living in Boston and I was living in Chicago).  Within a few days after we became engaged, he flew to Europe for an overseas study program for two months. Our first visit together as an engaged couple occurred when he came back.  The next visit was at Thanksgiving when our families met for the first time. While similar in many ways, our families were very different in others. I was a city girl and my husband was a country boy. His family was quite rambunctious and casual, while mine was very prim and proper.  To say that there were a number of interesting moments that weekend, would be an understatement.

Our final visit together before the wedding occurred about two months prior to the ceremony when my husband came to Chicago to move my household belongings out to Boston where we intended to live. I stayed in Chicago to finalize wedding arrangements and continue working before the ceremony there. About a week or so after he left, I was attending church on a Sunday morning, listening to a Mother’s Day sermon about marriage and family. It was then that the reality of what I was about to do hit me. I realized that the relationship I had with my soon-to-be-husband was nothing like what was being described.  The only commonality I could see was that I had prayed about my choice.  Even though I felt the Lord had spoken clearly to my heart that this was the young man I was to marry, at that moment it didn’t seem to be quite enough.  I began to experience what author Patrick McManus calls a “full bore linear panic”.  Fear overwhelmed me. It is the sheer mercy and grace of God that I acted with some wisdom instead of doing what I wanted to do: write him a “Dear John” letter breaking off the engagement, intending never to look back. This would have been an easy thing to do, as he lived a thousand miles away, except for the fact that he had most of my household goods with him! Instead, I picked up the telephone and told him how terrified I was. I asked him to talk me out of calling off the wedding.  Other than saying: “I wish you had told me this before I moved all of your things out here.”, he began to talk to me, really talk to me. At the end of that conversation I was back on track, and after thirty-two years of married life, it is evident that I had clearly heard from God about this young man.

It was a full three months of married life before the love I had for him became what most people would consider the foundation of a marriage: “falling in love”.  It was my husband’s constancy, his daily telling me that he loved me, his respect, care, and concern for me, along with his heart for the things of God, that taught me how to trust again.  While I can’t speak for him and what he thought or felt during those early months of our marriage, for me, it was his faithfulness and strength of character which gave me the sense of safety and security I needed so that I could give him my heart.

Historically speaking , many marriages came about as ours did. Marriages were either arranged by parents or the result of a formal courtship (and sometimes both).  The commonalities of family, faith, and social background were the foundational elements for the marriage contract. Couples learned to love each other over the course of their lives together. As depicted in the movie, “Fiddler on The Roof”, Tevye asks his wife Golde if she loves him. When she tells him that yes, she does, he says to her: “After twenty-five years, it’s nice to know.” The concept of “marrying for love” is a relatively recent invention.  While I am not advocating you should marry someone who you do not love, a marriage based fundamentally on emotions or on physical attraction will have problems with longevity.  Neither of these remain constant or stable over the long-term.

Much has been said about the hard work involved in maintaining a good marriage relationship.  The real work in a marriage is not in dealing with our partner’s (supposed) faults, but in dealing with our own. Our manifested sin wrecks havoc in the lives of those who love us.  The willingness to deal with our sin and to put another’s needs ahead of our own is never convenient or fun. 

My husband and I have been incredibly blessed throughout the years to remain each other’s best friend. In fact, I believe that friendship and respect are far more foundational to a long-lasting marriage than almost anything else.  The ability to laugh with each other about the same things further strengthens our relationship. We have tried not to take ourselves too seriously and have learned that if we feel hurtful words have been spoken, the other person likely never intended them to be hurtful at all.  The willingness to extend forgiveness is essential for a strong and lasting marriage. We must be willing to be the first to forgive, even if we feel that we have done nothing wrong. This is not an easy task. When we are hurting, we are more likely to have thoughts of punishment rather than thoughts of forgiveness. When we extend the love of Christ to each other, our relationships will heal.

My husband will be the first to tell you that he believes he has many faults and short-comings. However, I told him several years ago that I would no longer believe that he had any faults.  As far as I was concerned, from now on he would only have “charming eccentricities”.  He has graciously returned the favor. It is amazing  how this one small change in attitude has reaped such incredible benefits in our relationship.  As we have worked diligently to bring out the best in each other, we have become stronger together than we ever were apart.

Few relationships or marriages escape without a few bumps along the road–many face major challenges. Ours has been no different.  When we look to God for strength and wisdom, He keeps us secure as we face these tests to our faith and our relationship. It is likely that, over the remaining years of our married life, my husband and I will experience many more of these “bumps in the road”.  As we keep our focus on Christ, as we actively work to become more like Him, and as we face these challenges together, we will become even stronger.  Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us: “A threefold cord is not quickly broken”.  A man, a woman, and God are an unbeatable combination.  This is what God intended when He created Adam and Eve walking with them in the Garden of Eden.  His purposes have never changed. The marriage relationship remains foundational to His plans for the advancement of His Kingdom on this earth.

Marriage has eternal value; it should never be entered into lightly or unadvisedly.  This isn’t about our choice in the matter. His plans for us have been ordained since before the beginning of time.  It seems prudent that we ask Him what He intends.  And if, as it was for me, His choice does not initially appear exciting, we need to seek Him until we understand His purposes.  If our foundations are in Him, if we are walking in obedience and in accordance with His Will, our marriages will stand the test of time. They will accomplish all that He intends. They will satisfy the deepest longings of our hearts.

“I will open rivers in desolate heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys; I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. I will plant in the wilderness the cedar and the acacia tree, the myrtle and the oil tree; I will set in the desert the cypress tree and the pine and the box tree together, that they may see and know, and consider and understand together, that the hand of the LORD has done this, and the Holy One of Israel has created it.”  Isaiah 41:18-20 (NKJV)

Related Material:  http://www.mondaymorningmemo.com/newsletters/read/1897

Copyright © 2010 by Susan E. Johnson
All rights reserved

The Refiner’s Fire

Malachi 3:3 says:  ’He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.’

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work.  She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says:  “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.”

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, ‘How do you know  when the silver is fully refined?’

He smiled at her and answered,  “Oh, that’s easy – when I see my image in it.”

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Life is a coin. You can only spend it once.  Spend it the way He wants you to.

Author Unknown

Edited by Susan E. Johnson

Copyright © 2010 by Susan E. Johnson
All rights reserved

Truth or Consequences

“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32 (NKJV)

God’s Truth is awfully inconvenient sometimes. He meddles in our lives forcing us to deal with things we would prefer to ignore.  I recently came across a movie that was released in 2007, which I had never heard of before.  The movie, “The Monstrous Regiment of Women”, is based on a John Knox essay from the 16th century with the same name.  It is in direct opposition to everything that is culturally prevalent today. The concept, as presented by the movie, makes me intensely uncomfortable, even though I agree with its basic premise.  It deals with God’s plan for man as leader and woman’s functional role in the home. I have not seen the movie, but while watching the trailer I could feel the rebellion rising, clearly indicating that there is still work to be done in my heart.

I grew up in the 1960s and 1970s at the beginning of the women’s liberation and feminist movement.  Open rebellion was evidenced in women’s rallying cry of “No man is going to tell me what to do”, the burning of foundational garments, and the roar of collective rage from women who felt they had been dominated by men since the beginning of time.  It continues to be the catalyst for the unravelling of the family unit and the rapid downward slide of our culture. The social implications have been profound.

Unfortunately, I have historically had a rather schizophrenic view of a woman’s role in the family–an uneasy blend of Biblical truth and cultural examples.  I was raised in a Christian home, but didn’t really grow up possessing a Biblical worldview.  The focus in my family, while Christian, was one of education as the principal pursuit in life. I was a product of the public schools and not really aware of the impact that educational mind-set had on my views. Even my experience while attending a Christian college wasn’t much different. The Christian life, while encouraged, was more of an addition to, not the primary focus of, the intellectual and academic process–a parallel path, not necessarily intersecting or completely foundational to the academic experience.

Our culture encourages women to attend college and enter the workforce after graduation, somehow expecting them to manage, and successfully juggle, their professional and personal lives.  It is never suggested that a woman could, or even should, consider leaving her professional life to focus on a husband or children.  Women are encouraged to take care of themselves first (personally and professionally) as the means of becoming a better wife and mother, preserving the career that will give them so many more options in life.  The result has been the abdication of woman’s God-ordained role and sphere of influence.

I fully support women developing all of their God-given talents and abilities through education and career, but not at the expense of the family.  A woman may do many things with her life, but her primary focus must always be that of her family if God blesses her with one. There will never be a professional accomplishment that can equal the joy of seeing things of eternal value beginning to bear fruit in the hearts of your children.

I have been fortunate to have had both a wonderful professional life and a traditional “stay-at-home” life, working as a nurse until I found myself (after twelve years of married life) joyously expecting our daughter.  My husband and I decided early on in our married life that, when we started a family, I would stay home to raise our children in the traditional model.  I have never regretted that decision.  The addition of homeschooling to our lives was an incredible blessing to me and to our family.

It has been a constant frustration dealing with people’s attitudes about my choice to set aside a professional career to stay at home with my daughter.  When people found out I was a “stay-at-home” mom, their eyes would seem to glaze over, a look of pity would come over their faces, and they would begin to treat me like some kind of village idiot.

I remember with clarity one such example.  I was at a business dinner with my husband and daughter, entertaining an associate of my husband’s (with his family).  During the initial conversation at the restaurant, the expected question was asked of me: “So, what do you do?”  I briefly considered telling them a couple of things: “I am a nurse.” (technically true, although I was not currently practicing as one) or ”I stay at home and home school my daughter.”  However, this particular night I was feeling a bit feisty, so I opted for: “I am an educational facilitator”.  The “oohs and aahs” were immediate and accompanied by this response: “That must be an incredibly interesting job!”  I would have gotten away with that illusion except for the resounding laughter emanating from my husband and daughter. This, of course, caused our guests to ask what they were laughing about. When I explained that ”educational facilitator” meant I stayed home and homeschooled my daughter, they lost all interest in anything else I had to say and I largely became invisible for the rest of the evening.

I do not know why we place so little value in our culture on the contribution women make as they raise their children to be the next generation of leaders–God clearly doesn’t.  He has commanded us to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Women are the emotional “glue” that holds the family together. What she brings to the marriage and the family are essential for its continuation. Her husband’s willingness to trust his heart to her keeping is a testament to the depth of her love for him.  Her gifts and talents are a complement to, and will likely be different from those of her husband’s–both are essential for God’s plan to establish and advance His kingdom. God clearly intended the family to be central to His purposes when He created Adam and Eve and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply in the earth.  The family unit is necessary to fulfill His dominion mandate.

My daughter and I have had many conversations about career and family. As a junior in college, she is beginning to consider what God would have her do with her life and her education.  While my husband and I have, on occasion, wished that God had called her to an easier career path than ballet, we have supported her as she has faithfully walked in the direction that He has led her.  She could easily have done well in any number of other academic pursuits as God has blessed her intellectually in math, science, languages, writing, and in the study of history.  We don’t yet know how all of these will fit into God’s call to the arena of ballet, but we do know that God has a specific purpose for each and every one of them. 

In many ways my daughter has had to deal with some of the same misconceptions as I did when I stayed at home.  Very few people think that dancers have any academic prowess. Most don’t understand the kind of problem-solving, memory skills, and intellectual abilities required of a dancer.  It would be a serious mistake to underestimate our daughter’s intellectual capabilities.  When God chooses to give her a husband and a family, she will use every one of those abilities to bless her husband and children.  Hopefully, she will never have to hear from others, as I did, that staying home to raise a family is a waste of a good college education.

There is no doubt in my mind that, even though I have had a fulfilling career, I was never happier than when I was at home. Even now as I have returned to that career to help pay for my daughter’s college expenses, I must admit to wishing I was still at home.  I don’t believe most women today have any idea what they have lost, both spiritually and culturally, by rebelling against God’s plan for them to remain prominently in the home. Many have lost the protection of God and have paid a tremendous price in divorce, rebellious children, and an increase in health problems, now equal to men in many ways.  Our rebellion as women has caused many men to flee from their committment and responsibility as principal provider and protector of the family.  It doesn’t appear that women have gained anywhere near what they thought they were going to by choosing to compete with men in the financial market place.

Ultimately each woman must seek God’s perfect plan for her life, searching for how He would have her use the gifts and talents that have been given–each day adjusting as necessary when the Spirit whispers to her heart.  Only in obedience to God will she find peace, joy, and rich fulfillment.

“A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NKJV)

“Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 30:10-12 (NKJV)

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 30:28-30 (NKJV)

Copyright © 2010 by Susan E. Johnson
All rights reserved

Have It Your Way

“Give us a king to judge us.”  So Samuel prayed to the LORD.  And the LORD said to Samuel, “Heed the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them.” 1 Samuel 8:6b-7  (NKJV)

For many years, Burger King has waged a very successful advertising campaign based on the slogan: “Have it your way.”  We live in a perpetual “me at the center of the known universe” culture.  Our current culture is based on “we want what we want, when we want it,” without thought for God, others, or in many cases, the consequences.

During a recent conversation with my daughter, she told me that she is becoming increasingly aware of how it affects others when we sin–how it affects our family, our friends, our neighbors, and even those we don’t know.  We tend to think that sin is a solitary decision, without fallout, but nothing could be farther from the truth.  Sin has a ripple effect, both in our lives and in the lives of others.  Sin ”always costs us more than we want to pay and takes us farther than we want to go,” leaving us with collateral damage.

Not too long ago a friend told me about a decision that she had made many years ago while standing at one of life’s proverbial ”forks in the road.”  She had been in a situation she desperately wanted to get out of.  God had told her what He wanted her to do–to stay where she was, to walk it out and to work it out,  but she did not want to do that.  During a “talk” she had with God on the subject, she told Him: “I don’t care what it costs me, I want out.”  And she walked out.  It is no surprise that this decision cost her much more than she had anticipated and had wanted to pay. Just as the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for forty years because of their rebellion–never entering the promised land–she went through many difficult times that likely could have been avoided had she done what God had wanted, when He had asked it of her. Each of us has many examples of the same in our own lives; the years littered with the cost of our rebellion.

There is an old saying: “Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.”  When we seek things in life that are contrary to God’s Will for us, the results are predictable.  God has given us a free will. He will allow us to head down the wrong path if we choose to do so. Every time we choose to rebel, we chose death.  Rebellion sets us at the center of our lives and not God. When we put our desires ahead of His, we set events in motion that affect more than us. If rebellion is left unchecked, it eventually leads to the “tyranny of self”–a miserable end, to be sure.

There are multiple examples in history of cultures that have allowed rebellion against God to foment until it became intractable. We are again living in such a time. The beginnings of rebellion in the 1950′s, culminated in the mass rebellion of the 60′s and 70′s against the biblically based moral value system of our parents and grandparents.  The cries of: “I don’t want to grow up”, “if it feels good do it”, and “no one is going to tell me what to do,” still resonate today. Historically, it was expected that a young man or young lady would take on adult responsibilities in their teens. Now it is common not to make that transition until the mid-twenties (or even later), putting off maturity and  extending the childhood years.

The maturation process requires changing the focus from self to others. The process of putting aside what you want for the benefit of others is not easy. These days “fun” is the hallmark of most of what we want to do–everything must have an ”entertainment value”, everything needing to benefit us and what we want out of life. The traditional concepts of responsibility, duty, hard work, and obedience are rapidly being silenced in popular culture.

A Bible teacher that we particularly enjoy listening to has put it this way: “When you are out of your place, you are out of His grace. When you are out of His grace, you fall on your face.” God, in His sovereignty, has ordained a “place” for each of us. When we choose to go our own way, we bring much pain and heartache into our own lives and into the lives of those who love us. Rebellion removes the Grace of God far from us.  I don’t know about you, but I have enough trouble in life without purposely making decisions that remove the Grace of God from my life. I want the decisions that I make to line up with the Word of God, sowing life and grace into those around me and to my descendants.

“I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live.” (Deuteronomy 30:19b NKJV)

Copyright © 2010 by Susan E. Johnson
All rights reserved